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Continued from here.

*surprised--so seldom kissed in public, let alone with this particular flavor of desperation* You're sure you're all right?

Date: 2010-04-11 03:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ay-my-lord.livejournal.com
That's more what I meant. Because that's what we're trying to have, right? Something that lasts, because there's a future that we're going to have together.

Date: 2010-04-11 04:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
*deferring, then* What do you want of the future?

Date: 2010-04-11 11:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ay-my-lord.livejournal.com
*very nice conversational judo, Guildenstern* I guess ... I guess I want things to stay the way they are. I'm really happy like this.

Date: 2010-04-11 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
So am I. But I would like to ... improve. To become better at anticipating your needs and answering them, at understanding what it's like to share a life with you.

Date: 2010-04-11 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ay-my-lord.livejournal.com
So would I, but you don't know what you want, so it can be hard for both of us. *smile* We'll help each other when we think of things, though.

Date: 2010-04-11 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
Hopefully we will. *a brief smile back* But let's use housing an example -- or not so much housing as the making of a home. I can't, as I've told you, be comfortable in a disorganized space. What would make a space comfortable for you? What can I do to achieve that?

Date: 2010-04-11 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ay-my-lord.livejournal.com
It would need to have people in it, and sounds, and be warm, too. *smile* I guess it would just have to feel like people lived there.

Date: 2010-04-11 08:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
*this is slightly embarrassing to suggest, but* I don't know what our working hours will be like ... but if I could find some way to welcome you home, at the end of the day ...

Date: 2010-04-11 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ay-my-lord.livejournal.com
*oh--! he beams at the sound of it* We could have a nice dinner together! Would that be good?

Date: 2010-04-11 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
It would feel like order. And it would give us all the opportunity to ... catch up with one another, as people who live together.

Date: 2010-04-11 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ay-my-lord.livejournal.com
Exactly. Like a little family ritual--but not the kind that's strangling or compulsory or something like that.

Date: 2010-04-11 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
I'm beginning to recognize the importance of the difference.

Date: 2010-04-11 09:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ay-my-lord.livejournal.com
*reaches across the table for his hand* Is that okay, for you?

Date: 2010-04-11 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
*catching his hand there* More than okay. As I've said -- it feels like order. It feels comfortable.

Date: 2010-04-11 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ay-my-lord.livejournal.com
*squeezes his hand* Can I help you to be ... more ordered, I guess?

Date: 2010-04-11 11:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
Schedules help. Rituals. Or the sense that things are going smoothly, that there's nothing, at present, to worry about -- but that's rather more difficult to judge than whether or not a schedule is being adhered to.

Date: 2010-04-11 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ay-my-lord.livejournal.com
What kind of things would we schedule?

Date: 2010-04-12 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
Housekeeping, of course, but there are other priorities and I would like to make time for them, too.

Date: 2010-04-12 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
That's -- what I mean to ask. *embarrassed slightly* I can schedule my own priorities well enough -- my own work, my own leisure. What would you foresee as a mutual priority for us?

Date: 2010-04-12 08:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ay-my-lord.livejournal.com
Spending time together would be nice ... I'll be busy a lot with rehearsals after work, and I wouldn't want to miss you.

Date: 2010-04-12 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
Perhaps, in addition to the dinners, once a week or more frequently, we can agree to have dates -- to do something together with the formal and final intention of enjoying one another's company, so that we don't fall out of the habit. *-- is already thinking that's probably a stupid idea, but*

Date: 2010-04-12 10:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ay-my-lord.livejournal.com
Oh, that sounds wonderful. *squeezes his hand* And ... well, I guess I'm still figuring out what turns you on ... would it excite you, if we scheduled time for sex? So that it would be orderly?

Date: 2010-04-12 11:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com
*aahblushes -- talking about sex at the table! well, he never!* I don't know that it would excite me --

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