Tragedians AU

[ay_my_lord]

Continued from here.

*surprised--so seldom kissed in public, let alone with this particular flavor of desperation* You're sure you're all right?

Comments

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

Or anything, I guess.

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

It's a rather wide category -- 'everything.'

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Maybe a little wide. But ... well, we haven't really had a chance to stop and talk about where things are going, for us, and I guess I was curious where you'd like them to go.

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

We do stop and talk about where things are going in the process of going there -- because we know not talking ends too easily in disaster. I suppose we don't often talk about the future as an end in itself.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

That's more what I meant. Because that's what we're trying to have, right? Something that lasts, because there's a future that we're going to have together.

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

*deferring, then* What do you want of the future?

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*very nice conversational judo, Guildenstern* I guess ... I guess I want things to stay the way they are. I'm really happy like this.

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

So am I. But I would like to ... improve. To become better at anticipating your needs and answering them, at understanding what it's like to share a life with you.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

So would I, but you don't know what you want, so it can be hard for both of us. *smile* We'll help each other when we think of things, though.

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

Hopefully we will. *a brief smile back* But let's use housing an example -- or not so much housing as the making of a home. I can't, as I've told you, be comfortable in a disorganized space. What would make a space comfortable for you? What can I do to achieve that?

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

It would need to have people in it, and sounds, and be warm, too. *smile* I guess it would just have to feel like people lived there.

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

*this is slightly embarrassing to suggest, but* I don't know what our working hours will be like ... but if I could find some way to welcome you home, at the end of the day ...

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*oh--! he beams at the sound of it* We could have a nice dinner together! Would that be good?

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

It would feel like order. And it would give us all the opportunity to ... catch up with one another, as people who live together.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Like a little family ritual--but not the kind that's strangling or compulsory or something like that.

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

I'm beginning to recognize the importance of the difference.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*reaches across the table for his hand* Is that okay, for you?

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

*catching his hand there* More than okay. As I've said -- it feels like order. It feels comfortable.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*squeezes his hand* Can I help you to be ... more ordered, I guess?

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

Schedules help. Rituals. Or the sense that things are going smoothly, that there's nothing, at present, to worry about -- but that's rather more difficult to judge than whether or not a schedule is being adhered to.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

What kind of things would we schedule?

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

Housekeeping, of course, but there are other priorities and I would like to make time for them, too.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

Like what?

[mostlyrhetoric.livejournal.com]

That's -- what I mean to ask. *embarrassed slightly* I can schedule my own priorities well enough -- my own work, my own leisure. What would you foresee as a mutual priority for us?

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

Spending time together would be nice ... I'll be busy a lot with rehearsals after work, and I wouldn't want to miss you.