WWI-verse Anarchist AU

[ay_my_lord]

*Horatio has a room in a lodging-house not far from the castle; he shares the house with three other men on his floor and an extended family on the floor above him. his belongings, he has largely left in Wittenberg, on the (perhaps vain) hope that the war will soon be over and he will be able to return within a few months' time at most.

with his fellow-lodgers at work, though, he has the narrow front room to himself--or rather, in this case, to himself and Hamlet. he is pouring out tea for them, his spectacles slipping down his nose* I'm glad you came to call today. I'd been hoping I'd hear from you soon--it's been awkward trying to get back to the castle without a wedding invitation.

Comments

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

*quiet, small* I never hurt you, did I?

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

Of course not. *takes his hand, and takes a sip of his tea to steady himself* You've never hurt me.

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

*looking down at their hands, smiling a crooked half-smile* Not when you kissed me?

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

You did confuse me. *squeezes his hand, and lets go* But it was my fault for playing along.

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

I suppose so. *just looking at his own hand, now* I suppose it was strange, and unexpected. And when something strange and unexpected happens, you can't do anything better than laugh about it. I kept half-hoping --

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*quiet, waiting for him to finish--if he shouldn't make to speak, Horatio will ask gently* What did you hope, or half-hope?

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

It doesn't matter. It's ridiculous now -- all of it is. I've been trying to make a joke of whatever's happening with Laertes, just so it can exist -- so that even if it isn't real, I can still talk about it and laugh about it as if it were. The more ridiculous it sounds, playing husband and wife or characters from a Gothic horror, the better off it is, because then it won't risk being true. Nothing feels true -- nothing that isn't about murder, or vengeance, or regicide, or rebellion -- and everything else is ridiculous. Untruths are better off. But for a moment I ... *curling his fingers, to keep from shaking -- it's harder, now, everything is so hard -- and looking up with a perfect, teasing smile* ... You know something? Those spectacles are adorable on you. Whenever I see them, I want to kiss the bridge of your nose and fix them for you. I think it's because they always need to be fixed.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

Now you're being absurd with me, because you want to make me blush. *and he is blushing* And anyway lots of Gothic horrors are about murder and vengeance, and some of them are about regicide, too. It's real, too ... at least a little bit.

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

*laughing* You would point that out. It's not the same, though -- you can stop reading.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

But they can't. The characters, that is. *quiet* I mean ... even when they try, they can't leave the story behind them. There's always a heart thumping under the floorboards, or a woman lying alive in the tomb ... and maybe I read too much Poe, but horror's not horrible because things are dead. It's horrible because things go on living even if you want them to be dead.

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

*as though he's agreeing* And that's the way it is in reality, too.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*sheepish* Yes.

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

*leans over and kisses the bridge of his nose*

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*his face feels very hot; he looks down at his cup and tries very hard not to think about kissing a beautiful blonde woman from Denmark who had madsweet eyes like Hamlet's*

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

*nudging up his glasses with a laugh* Adorable.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*looks up, with a little smile* I hope Laertes can tell when you're playing with him.

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

I doubt it.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

Oh. *pours himself another cup of tea*

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

He's in love with somebody.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

Oh. *and topping up Hamlet's cup, while he's at it* That's ... all right, isn't it?

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

*mmtea* For me, it is. I think he'd rather not be -- that means it's serious. When you'd rather not love somebody and still do, it's usually serious.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

It must be. *well, drat.* So you're only playing with him ...?

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

At first, I was.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Are you trying to win his heart, now?

[willnotbenow.livejournal.com]

Do you think I could?