The Laertes/Guildenstern AU ... why do we bother calling it that any longer? ^_~

[ay_my_lord]

*scene--the apartment that Horatio and Rey now share, on a lovely summer day; Horatio has opened a window to catch the sunlight, and he's sitting in the patch of sun, curled up on his beanbag chair. when Rey passes, he'll look up, with a smile* Can I ask you something?

Comments

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

*frowns* Did it hurt?

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

Didn't it hurt, to have her be awful to you?

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

I ... I guess. *blushes, looking down* It hurt knowing she thought those kinds of things about me. But that wasn't her fault ... other people told her those things, you know?

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*nuzzles* It doesn't matter what she thought, or what they told her. People say awful things, and hurt good people, and they don't matter ... what matters is, you shouldn't ever think awful things about yourself, especially if they're not true.

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

I thought maybe they were true. *sheepish* And maybe I'd just missed it. I ... I figured that if all these girls that I'd really liked, that I thought I loved, were saying these things after being with me ... I figured it had to be something wrong with me.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

Well, I couldn't ever say anything bad about you ... *softly* You're not going to realize someday that you only thought you loved me, are you?

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

If one day you want me to stop loving you, if ... it becomes a nuisance to you, I'll try not to say anything.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

I ... what, Rey? *hurt* It's not a nuisance ...

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

*frowning, trying to say it gently* But if someday it is ...

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*quiet* This isn't about Hamlet, is it?

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

*freezes* Why would it ... ?

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

Because I guess it must have looked like I left him, when he was a nuisance ... and I never meant it to. *looks away, ashamed* I should probably call him more often. He likes it when we talk.

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

*tries to smile, to reassure him* I know that's not why you left him. I know as well as anybody.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

But I guess it would make sense, if you were afraid of getting left like that ... just like I'm afraid of you someday telling your wife that you'd thought you'd loved me. *tries to smile back*

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

*stroking Horatio's shoulders, the back of his neck, soothing even as he admits (half to himself)* I'm not afraid because you left Hamlet. I'm afraid because everybody else left. And if you leave, too, I'll still love you, and I'll miss you, and I'll think about what I should have said to you or done for you to make you stay, or if I was just never good enough to keep you, if all of this was just too nice to last ... but I won't get in your way, and I won't say it aloud.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*letting himself be touched, and touching back, carefully* I never want to leave you. Not ever ... so you won't have to worry about getting in my way, because I want my way to be your way, too ...

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

*trembling perhaps* I hope it will be.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*half-silly, half-serious* If I gave you a spiderflower, would you take it?

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

*blushes* We still don't know what a spiderflower looks like ...

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Maybe that's okay. If I ever get married, I ... *sheepish* I'd kind of like it to be a church wedding.

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

*nuzzles* Even though you're not religious?

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

*nuzzlesback* I still believe in God, most of the time ... and I still want someone to bless me and the person I'm getting married to. It would feel right, to get married like my parents did. *blush* Even if it were with a man, and I'd have to find a different church.

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

I'd like that, too, though. *shysmile* I'm old-fashioned.

[ay-my-lord.livejournal.com]

I know. It's nice that you're old-fashioned; it makes you different from everyone else. ^__^ *goes to fill a glass with water for the lily, and then fetches their lemonade once the flower's safely tucked away*

[carpoftruth.livejournal.com]

*smiles, so much calmer now* Maybe one day I'll come home with red roses and a ring.